Loverage ‘09, Most Unforgettable UP Fair Ever?

one foggy evening

one foggy evening

UP Fair 2009. Loverage: Break the Curse [February 13, 2009 Friday]

So I told Mama, I changed my mind. Instead of going to the UP Fair, I’d rather stay at the dormitory and study for my accounting exam. I wasn’t able to find company anyway. My old friends already had commitments with their classmates/friends/roommates/boyfriends. So, what the hell? There’s still a next time..

But then again, I wouldn’t want to trade my concert experience, which is by the way very cheap for an all night jamming with OPM bands, for my acads.@_@ And it’s Friday, I deserve a little night out. So, I decided to go and ask my cousins to come with me. I volunteered to pay the tickets. They wanted to go so, I’m good. I can go to the concert accompanied. My cousins still has work so they’re going to be late. Ate Hanna asked me to come with her already and wait for my cousins at Sunken Garden.

The line was unimaginable. It reached the hall of fame pathway across the PHAN and curved all the way down to the main library and to the long stretch of College of Engineering.. I am not exaggerating. It’s like enrollment all over again. I thought we wouldn’t be able to get in before midnight. But, fortunately, we were able to make it even before the popular bands started performing.

When my cousins arrived, I couldn’t leave my spot because I was almost in front of the stage. So, I texted them to just meet with their batchmates which happpened to be watching the concert too and I’ll be on my own. Besides, there was already a massive crowd at the back composing of what they call the “Jumping Jologs” or JJs. They are the ones who wear black, red or white clothes, some of them wearing masks and capes, the infamous hairstyles and most of all gothic make-ups. I dare call them adik if you don’t mind me saying.

Anyway, these JJs were extremely and unsolicitedly disturbing the concert. They began throwing pet bottles with each other when Razorback and De Lara were performing. They were chanting and dancing unnerved with the people cursing at them. I have nothing against these people (most of them are still kids!). It’s just that some of us (that includes me) find it a little uncomfortable having them in our event. And it’s UP Fair. It’s supposed to be for UP Students only. So anyways, few other bands performed. The highlights of the concert for me were Giniling Festival, De Lara, Kjwan, Kitchie Nadal and Bamboo.

Few minutes before midnight of the Friday the 13th, the concert was suddenly commanded to stop temporarily. The reason was a lot more people were still outside the Fair arena, unfliching to enter and join the audience. While others were still lining up in the ticket booth. Apparently, the’re no sufficient space inside so they were asked to wait until the crowd moderates. But, they were too eager and some other outsiders were already pushing the fence. I decided to go home right after the fireworks display and after Bamboo had performed. Things were getting really intense and I could tell that some performers were already annoyed because of the nuisance. Give’em a break! They are also entitled with a behaved audience.

I arrived at the dormitory at 1 am. I still wanted to go back and finish what I’ve started. You know the feeling when you wanted something so badly and you’ve waited a whole year for it, but you wouldn’t be able to savor it to its last drop? Well, that’s how I felt. There were still amazing bands like Moonstar 88, Mayonnaise, etc yet to perform.

An hour or so after, dorm people were arriving. They told us that there has been a riot on-going at the Sunken Garden. A couple of UP DIliman Police officers were already harmed and some Quezon police has took part in. One police has a major damage in his head and is still in critical condition.

So, so much for my anticipation. I am still lucky I was able to get back before the discourse even started. I wouldn’t know what to do if I got caught in between. Thank God!

The day after, Saturday Feb. 14, I sat willfully in my study zone, accounting book and a pile of scratchpaper for my solutions in the table. I’m betting this event will not be forgotten so easily. The following week, I heard some of my classmates debating on who to blame. Some were already naming names. Even I had started thinking how could such a horrible thing happened. I just couldn’t imagine how the performers would think about it. Would they even care? I just hope that they wouldn’t resort to concluding that UP students are not civilized people just because of a mere, self-explanatory and unwanted mistake happened.

Enclosure: To anybody who happened to read this blog, please spare me my mother’s tongue-lashing castigation. She has no idea I ever ended up going to the Fair ^_^

Spur-of-the-moment

Guess what? I think I am having fun with my life! I mean I am not really good at school (though I thought I was), I don't play any sports and passive to school organizations, I still feel lucky. Come to think of it I can still wake up in the morning and eat what I like to eat without worrying that my waistline's never going to shrink for God knows when. I can go to class everyday without thinking that I might get embarassed in the middle of discussion because I wasn't paying attention. I can look at some cute guys without hooking up with them. Really, life has been so good to me and I was too blind that I didn't notice it before. And you know what? I am starting to have more positive vibes each day. I had too many expectations that's why I could get really down and depressed everytime I failed on something. There is really nothing wrong with expecting because sometimes it can be very helpful if I have something to look forward to. The thing is too much expectation can get too contagious at times. It can be so vicious that all I can of all all the good things that could happen. I I don't take into consideration the worst things that could happen. This is maybe because I am selfish and I am too proud. Though I never really made into action my pride; I just keep it on me.

The bottomline is, I am happy that there are things in life that I can do freely now compared before when I always have to force myself into something I don't really like. This time, I can do things that please me without hurting anyone, even myself. My mother would always tell me that whenever I am soo hurt and so down and I wanted to begin a new chapter of my life, I should start with forgiving myself first. I wont be able to deal with ther people and problems around me when even I, myself, isn;t ready to face the world. I should start with building courage and belief in me ao that the people around would understand and accept me for who I am. ^_^

Message in a Bottle

I keep on wondering why someone has to put a message in a bottle and throw it in the ocean. There must be something about it yet my mind refuse to believe it. Until one day, when I felt like my mind and heart would burst because of too many things it tried to haul, I found myself writing in a piece of blue stationary, circling it until it was an inch in width and trying to get it right for the small bottle that I could find in my room.

I tried to simulate what Garret did in the book Message in a Bottle before he threw the bottle in the ocean. I sailed for an unbearable three hours before I found the perfect spot where I could toss away the bottle that I have never left out from my grip. I thrust once more the letter so that it would reach the bottom of the bottle and would never leave there. I stared at it for a moment, the wind rapidly blowing away the strands of hair that I weren’t able to tie.

I tucked my free hand in my pocket and seized the tiny necklace that he gave to me. It was very pretty before, but it looked ugly and old now. Its brown color didn’t match my fair skin. I left out a heavy sigh, pushing away the sad memories that were trying to restore in my mind.

I kissed the cover of the bottle and held it for a long time. I faced the northwest direction where the wind monsoon blow and threw the bottle as far as I could muster. My gaze followed the bottle as it fell only a few meters away from the boat. I knew it, there was no way I could get it back. I waited until the waves crawled at the bottle and jostled it away until it was out of my sight. Soon it would reach the great Pacific Ocean. Then, it would hover through the vast rivers and fall in Caribbean. It would somehow break in one of those encounters. But, who cares?

After a couple of minutes, I started to move around. But before I could even move my feet, I felt something hard on my left hand. I lowered my head and raised my hand only to see the necklace still clutching tightly my fingers. Its brown color turned silver and it shined while the sun lowered through the mountains in thw west. Suddenly, tears began to form in my eyes. I struggled to hold those tears back but I couldn’t contain it anymore. I burst into tears, heavy and long cries even just a single glimpse of the bottle but it was nowhere to find. It would be gone forever.

But then, why the necklace?

(This was written when I was in second year college in my English Literature class. My professor asked us to write a short story about our idea of teen-age love)