Spur-of-the-moment

Guess what? I think I am having fun with my life! I mean I am not really good at school (though I thought I was), I don't play any sports and passive to school organizations, I still feel lucky. Come to think of it I can still wake up in the morning and eat what I like to eat without worrying that my waistline's never going to shrink for God knows when. I can go to class everyday without thinking that I might get embarassed in the middle of discussion because I wasn't paying attention. I can look at some cute guys without hooking up with them. Really, life has been so good to me and I was too blind that I didn't notice it before. And you know what? I am starting to have more positive vibes each day. I had too many expectations that's why I could get really down and depressed everytime I failed on something. There is really nothing wrong with expecting because sometimes it can be very helpful if I have something to look forward to. The thing is too much expectation can get too contagious at times. It can be so vicious that all I can of all all the good things that could happen. I I don't take into consideration the worst things that could happen. This is maybe because I am selfish and I am too proud. Though I never really made into action my pride; I just keep it on me.

The bottomline is, I am happy that there are things in life that I can do freely now compared before when I always have to force myself into something I don't really like. This time, I can do things that please me without hurting anyone, even myself. My mother would always tell me that whenever I am soo hurt and so down and I wanted to begin a new chapter of my life, I should start with forgiving myself first. I wont be able to deal with ther people and problems around me when even I, myself, isn;t ready to face the world. I should start with building courage and belief in me ao that the people around would understand and accept me for who I am. ^_^